Sharing yourself

[kwjw88]

I don't do this much, please let me know if it's okay.Thanks!

A hidden self, or so it’s called
One side of one that doesn’t show
Its thoughts are never heard nor told
Hidden behind a wall of its own

The day this twin basks in the sun
Will be the day the other reaches inside
To unchain the thing imprisoned within
Releasing it to the one he let in

Sorry it's so short...

[lepoussinvengeur]

Nice.

The fact that it's short is not really a problem. I like short poems, sometimes it gives it more strength.
Nice one and still an effort to make rimes. (last rimes from each part are... I don't know how to say that but they're striking or at least, they 'marked' me. That's good... I guess xD)

I like it.

[kwjw88]

Originally Posted by lepoussinvengeur

Nice.

That fact that it's short is not really a problem. I like short poems, sometimes it gives it more strength.
Nice one and still an effort to make rimes. (last rimes are... I don't know how to say that but they're striking or at leastn they 'marked' me. That's good... I guess xD

I like it.

Hey, thanks so much for your comment! Really appreciate you taking the time to read it, and even more so for liking itlol...

I usually write poems with rhymes, lots of them...Just feels like it goes down a little more smoothly when the lines rhyme. Besides, it's really fun to do, hehe...but sometimes when I read it myself, I get goosebumps 'cuase it'll frequently sound cheesy...haha

Oh well, thanks again for reading and commenting!=)

[lepoussinvengeur]

(wow I made some mistakes, sorry, I've just corrected myself)

Weeeell... No problem, you took some time, and you seem to be very interested in other people's work, which is not that current, that's cool. And your poem was short so it was easy to stand lol

The difficult thing in writing poems, except the way of writing it, is, I think, being original (cauz' Love and Sadness themes are not exactly original lol)... and playing with words.

Your poem was a good surprise, because when I read the title, I thought it was more about love, Sharing yourself with someone else... Big love etc... x)

And I think I like it also because I wrote something about 2 ones in one, 2 personnalities, one dominating the other one...

Okay I'm done, I really talk too much x)

[kwjw88]

Lol, that's quite okay...
Am always late with being involved in trends, or things that many people are into in one time, so doesn't really bother me to be reading old stuff, eheh...and yeah, I like reading people's work. Never used to be able to do that till I found Quarrel (thanks QN).

You're right about being original though. Even so, it can't really be helped. There are already so many pieces out there. If a person were to create an original piece, he/she would have to be really creative and very good with words, lol...

Also, can't write love poems 'cause I'm not yet qualified to, haha...gimme a decade or so and we'll see what happens.

So you wrote a poem with a similar topic then? I wrote this when I was depressed and so not many people have read it. Having the chance to share it without actually having people know ho I am really is nice.

Now I'm the one talking too much.
Thanks again!=)

[Naioku]

I am always shocked by how many people only write when they are depressed. I write most my short stories and poetry when I am down also. I seem to be most honest then. Unfourtuantly, it usually turns out depressing.

I will admit I liked your poem alot espcially since it was short. I think when poems are short and not very direct they leave self-interpertation. Which is the best you can hope for, that someone will identify with you. I hope you post more poems on here I'd like to read them

Take care

[Mylenka]

This one is beautiful! You managed to express your emotions in a very charming way. It doesn't really matter it's short. It's short and good and that's far better than long and useless ;3 I really appreciate it, you're tallented =]

[kwjw88]

Thanks so much for everyone's response! Haven't been active for a long while...really happy to see this section getting some posts=)

Here's one I wrote for the Cry and Sorrow thread of this section. Hope you all like it.

The sun's warm blaze reaches my face
As I cleared my vision with a longing to laze
Pulling myself out of a slumber so deep
Knowing there are others who couldn't afford sleep

Gazing into the space ahead
The infamous line where Heaven meets Earth
A world so filled with pleasures and wonder
Could exist within, such sorrow and horror

As time slides by under the eternal skies
Incapable of escaping those watchful eyes
Us who share the same blood in our veins
Shamelessly inflict such terror and pain

Why should one suffer more than the onother
When we both bear that sole desire
Why must we hurt just to get what we want
To be able to live while others can't

Why do we know the sounds of cries
The sound only in which suffering lies
Why does our soil reek of tears and blood
Stained by the wars that tore families apart

With every heartbreaking incident that follow
With my heart I believe some day we will grow
A world brimming with peace and health
One that disallows history to repeat itself

Cheers!

[charken]

i write some poems too

this one is in spansih


El Privilegio del Tiempo

Tiempo
Privilegio que no use
Y ahora estoy aquí
Viendo como los demás saben,
Como llegar a ti

Solo, mírame
Viéndote de lejos
Sin ni poder saludarte
Sin ni siquiera darme cuenta
Como te sientes

Como tu mirada expresa lo que nunca podré saber
Porque en este cruel mundo
El que su tiempo pierde
Ya para que decirlo
Puesto que todos saben lo que sucede
Con el que su tiempo pierde

Si cada segundo valiera oro
Un segundo junto a ti
Valdría tanto

Mírame, te imploro
Mira como estoy aquí escribiendo, para llegar a ti
Con este secreto tan bien guardado
Que ni por aquí
Te lo puedo decir.

Y aun así
No se como llegar a ti.