Destiny Breaker 0: The Prologue

[Wassahman]

This dark cold night, eerie sounds from the door
The steps a coming and the creaking of the floor
At my door they stand, their shadow slipping underneath
Underneath the door and the sight made my blood seethe
I stood from my seat to see what comes to my room
Then I hear words, the utterance of the word… “Doom”
“Doom?” I wondered, what could they mean?
Should I open the door, and let them careen?
Careen through the threshold, and up to my table
And listen to them, to their preposterous fable
A story they spun, so unbelievable it was
Then I yawned, and so they paused
“Do I bore you kind sir?” the creature wondered
“I should just kill you!” the creature thundered
I stood from my desk and a laugh gave
“Your joking right? I’ll never have a grave”
The creatures changed, fangs they grew
Swung their claws at me and made a hew
Angered I became, and my sword I drew
“You wish your demise? Pain I’ll ensue”
With a single swing, I destroyed them,
I see on their shoulders, a tiny emblem,
I remember their myth, a symbol they described
And on my arm, I saw the symbol was inscribed
My destiny it was, to see this tale to an end,
Then torture I will endure at every bend,
But this story I was told has a terrible ending
And so, with my sword, I will do some mending
Make this story, into a legendary myth
Making sure that plenty it comes with
With action, drama, romance and creatures
Amazed will they be, at all of these features

I guess I might start some kind of rhyming story kind of thing... I'll see where this goes later on lol

[kurosaki]

hm... a little iffy at the end... but as u said its going on some where! work on it u have a solid idea here! refine, edit, refine and then read it out loud.

[CountAlucard]

I thought it was cool, and I hope to read more.

[rivieracadman]

I'm not sure, seems a little forced to me

[Slider]

Nice one! I like the beginning, but I don't quite understand what happens in the end.

[benfinn]

"This dark cold night, eerie sounds from the door
The steps a coming and the creaking of the floor
At my door they stand, their shadow slipping underneath
Underneath the door and the sight made my blood seethe
I stood from my seat to see what comes to my room
Then I hear words, the utterance of the word… “Doom”
“Doom?” I wondered, what could they mean?
Should I open the door, and let them careen?
Careen through the threshold, and up to my table
And listen to them, to their preposterous fable"

This whole part I liked a lot but after that the image changes and it begins to sound different. I know I sound weird but it doesn't fit with the end.

[bvyes]

amazing, more please!