Another Poem

[benfinn]

Beauty

Of all the beauties on the earth
There is only one you search for from birth

More powerful than the enchanting beauty of flowers
More soothing than May time showers

It is the beauty of the heart
And such beauty cannot even be expressed even by Mozart

Have you seen such beauty before
One that thrills you to the core

If you have be very happy
And while this may seem sappy

Keep it close to you at all cost
Or what you found may be lost

[blots_ko06]

nice..

[MickeytheMouse]

It's a nice concept and I love it for that, but the poem as a whole would be much stronger if the stanzas held more flow.

For or example:
"It is the beauty of the heart
And such beauty cannot even be expressed even by Mozart"

could read:
It is the beauty of the heart
that cannot be expressed by even mozart.

By simple rearranging or cutting out unneeded words the poem keeps the flow and does not cause a reader to stumble. You wouldn't want your poem to be showing any obstructions to distract.

Still, you have a pretty good idea flowing here.

I hope I helped some.

[rivieracadman]

I like it, nicely phased and blunt. I hate Little Red Wagon type poems

[kurosaki]

hmm overall very nice... but the opening few sentences... thier lengths you have to edit them soemthing like MickeytheMousesuggested or continue short sentnce, long sentence format the entire poem then

[benfinn]

Thanks for your suggestions MickeytheMouse and Kurosaki. You should read my other one on this network. I think its got a better flow.