My Poem

[benfinn]

The Knife

You stare at the knife
And your life slips away
As blood trickles down
You begin to sway

Now you fall to the floor
And the thoughts in your mind
Are of those that you have wronged
And all your ‘friends’ that left you in this bind

Tears mix with blood
You scream your hate for life
But a whisper is all you can manage
So you know this is the end of your strife

But they come into your thoughts
The ones who showed you happiness
The ones that always listened
The ones with the never ending sappiness

As you listen to their love
Telling you to fight
You realize how wrong this is
And you know they are right

Now you shift into darkness
And wake from your dream
Horrified and stunned with
Your ever-amplified noiseless scream

You take the knife you hid
And put it safely downstairs
They saved you once again
With their infinite cares

[kurosaki]

lol very nice and heart warming. and a very good message included as well.

[LargoLaGrande]

Y'know, something quite similar actually happened to me, except I was deep in thought outside of the door of my Math Class one morning, and I felt like crying.

What? Nothing wrong with crying. Even men have emotions.

edit: sorry, accidentally dbl posted.

It was a good poem, though. Made me think.

[CountAlucard]

That was very good, especially towards the end. Different from most poems, where he'd kill himself, awesome work.

[benfinn]

Thank you for your comments. This is actually the favorite out of all the poems I've ever written.

[Doanpham]

I also have one

[kokochan]

Nice kinda emo though.

[benfinn]

I don't consider myself emo and especially not goth but my poems are a bit dark.

[kurosaki]

Originally Posted by kokochan

Nice kinda emo though.

theres a difference b/w emo and writing poems of this calibre... this work makes u imagine the situation which is really well written. good use of imagery and direct voice. benfinn u said to look at the poem in ur other post so i did... and i had posted here before and heres my work in response to yours:

where have you found yourself after all these years
a little dazed, destroyed and drowned in tears.
Chasing broken dreams on empty streets
meeting boulevards and coming clean.
a little scared to sleep at night
a million and one decisions
that had never gone right.
Just cut across the skin
Cry and drink to death
In the bleeding water
suicide you'll meet.


kokochan this may classify as emo!

[Zetsumei_no_Tsurugi]

That poem gave me chills. It was very beautifully written.