Shard of a broken dream

[Skeclipse]

This is a poem writen by me...my heart is in this words...

Something pure and unique
It's something that guides you to succses,
It's something that makes you feel restless
It makes you want to protect it at any cost.
You dont know when it comes
Or when it's lost
But a dream is the most beautiful thing you can have...

You can walk along with your dream to happiness
Just like a bird when it first flies out of his nest
Like a bird, the dream has wings
That can make you do beautiful things...
It's like an art that few can understand
It's like a fantasy land.

Not everyone can have beautiful dreams
You need courage, to overcome the evil
You need hope, to maintain the dream
You need a pure heart, to make that dream grow
And you must have friends, so that you can give birth to the dream...

A dream is like a jewel
Many shapes and much brightness.
A sword can be made with jewels
Or any other weapon that you treasure and wich protects your life...
But a human is still a human
He loses his heart and his hope
As well as the dream wich is broken in to pieces...

After that you look behind for a moment
You can see nothing more then
a shard of a broken dream....

[legoman]

ooooooo its good and its written by you and your thoughts not other peoples i like that

[TFAtarter7]

yea I like it. I think personal writings are the best.

[Skeclipse]

thank you ...yes its writen by me and i tried to put my feelings into words

[sota_kun]

niiice point, good meaning to it

[GetBackers_X]

wow it was really good!
it was great reading it
the choice of words and ur skills are good!

[tomasz333]

This poem is written fairly well. The comparison of a dream to a jewel is great, encompassing its mystic nature. However, you also compare it to a bird, a free being, which could insinuate a connection between the bird and the jewel, as both are an expression of the dream. Yet they are very different things. The bird lives, the jewel is but abiotic.

I believe though that you are showing that the dream is a bird, that the jewel is not the dream, but what can become of it. With "a sword can be made with jewels" you nicely express that through the development of dreams, we give our life purpose, and that purpose becomes realized through the actions of the one who forged it. Nice spin on "you are what you eat".

Sorry about the slightly analytic nature of my response. Thank my English teacher for me responding in such a manner. Overall, great poem!

P.s. Word "wich" on the 7th last line spelled incorrectly.

[komodashi]

great that was great and i liked it very much it had alot to do with feelings and that most of the time makes up good poetry....good work

[kurah]

There's a good flow to the poem. Keep composing.

[FunnyHamster]

nice one i try to maintain my dreams also but for my bad luck my mom wakes me up to go to school T~T you realy captured in that poem what a dream is nice one