Stress Reliever

[skylight]

Stress Reliever # 1
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your
picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can
there be greater than this one?"
__________________________________________________ ____________________

Stress Reliever # 2
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and
lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or
troubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.
__________________________________________________ ___________________

Stress Reliever # 3
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to
give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
__________________________________________________ ____________________

Stress Reliever # 4
Wife : "What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the
night?"
Husband : "Golfing with friends, my dear."
Wife : "What? At 2 am?"
Husband : "Yes, We used night clubs."
__________________________________________________ ____________________

Stress Reliever # 5
A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father
hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO
LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"
__________________________________________________ ____________________

Stress Reliever # 6
Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
__________________________________________________ ____________________

Stress Reliever # 7
"How was your blind date?" a college student asked her roommate.
"Terrible!" the roommate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce."
"Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?"
"He was the original owner."
__________________________________________________ ____________________

Stress Reliever # 8
A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..
"My father grows beans," said one student.
"My father cooks beans," said another.
Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans."
__________________________________________________ ____________________

Stress Reliever # 9
Interviewer: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire? "
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married
her ? "
Millionaire: "A Billionaire"
__________________________________________________ ____________________

Stress Reliever # 10
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.
__________________________________________________ _____________________

[winglessflight]

Cute jokes...smile tugging

[tarimindello]

Those ones are mean where the male says that the wife/gf is worse than everything else. grrr.

[Morrison]

i'll think twice before marying

[etherkye]

i don't think it is as bad as they make out.

[Bam]

i didnt get #3

[etherkye]

dumb smut.

the kid was sitting on his dad's lap and his dad told him to stand so the lasy could take his seat. ON THE DADS LAP.

get it now?

[Bam]

uhh, no, i meant to write 8, i got 3. the bean one i meant to say.

[etherkye]

human beings.

he spelt it wrong.

[Bam]

Originally Posted by etherkye

human beings.

he spelt it wrong.

i get it now, but it isnt funny.